I Remember, I Can't Forget

It started out as just another normal day; the weather was nice, not perfect, but not bad. The sky was blue with only a few high altitude clouds. It would be a full day of flying for our squadron of F-16s. Again, nothing really out of the ordinary; we had a full schedule planned and my job as the Lead Production Superintendent or Pro Super, was to ensure we had all the jets covered with appropriate mechanics. Their job was to either support the active flying or fix those that had mechanical problems. Just another day…

I spent the early morning like all others; in a meeting going over the condition and plan for each of our 27 assigned jets. Little did I or any of us know how the world was changing while we discussed aircraft status. After the meeting, I went out to my truck to get the daily work started. I was coordinating with the mechanics the who, what and where we would do that day when we had an odd radio call. “Attention all radios this net, this is the MOC (Maintenance Operations Center) with an announcement. All local flying has been cancelled; please respond with your call sign.” “Rude 1 copies” I replied but didn’t really think much about it. Cancelling flying is rare, but not uncommon in the military, but usually I have an idea of why; bad weather, an accident or something like that. This day however, I was just thankful we didn’t have to worry about flying our schedule, but could instead; focus our efforts on the several jets that needed maintenance. Boy was I in for a shock.

I still didn’t have any idea what was going on since I didn’t have the radio on. In my truck, I had to listen to two tactical radios and use my cell phone, so I didn’t play the radio. I was briefing my supervisors about the change in the schedule when another odd radio call interrupted me…”Attention all radios this net, this is the MOC with an announcement. Implement THREATCON BRAVO. I repeat implement THREATCON BRAVO. Please respond with your call sign, MOC out.” “Rude 1” I said then wondered aloud if there was an exercise I wasn’t aware of. I told my supervisors to get moving with BRAVO procedures, and then went over to a Security Policeman driving around the flightline. I asked him if he knew what was going on, but he was as clueless as I was. I couldn’t really call the MOC to ask, since they were probably eye-ball deep in what ever was happening, besides, I knew I would be briefed soon enough. Right now, we just needed to follow orders and get things done.

About ten minutes later, the Chief of Maintenance came out to my truck and started talking about smoke boiling out of the Pentagon. I thought he was talking metaphorically, you know, I pictured all the Generals with smoke coming out of their ears as they worked some issue. I still didn’t know. Then he talked about the crash into the WTC. “What the hell are you talking about?” I asked. “You haven’t heard? Where have you been?” he asked. Out here doing my job, now what the hell is going on?” He told me we were under attack. I couldn’t comprehend what he was telling me, so I went into our ready room and saw the images of the second plane flying into the south tower. I was stunned for about 20 seconds, then knew we needed to get focused and be ready for whatever tasking we would receive.

I immediately called my supervisors together and had them round everyone up and form them up in the hangar. I needed to talk to them. I don’t really remember what I said, but it was along the lines of “Our country is under attack. We need to put our personal thoughts and feelings aside and focus on what we’re trained to do.” “Anyone with family in NYC or Washington, get with your supervisors after the brief.” “I know you’re worried about them, but I’m sure you won’t be able to get through to them for a day or two, so try to contact them, but don’t focus on it.” I told them to focus on what we needed to do to get our jets combat ready. We’re trained and ready, let’s show them so when the commanders start looking for jets; we’re right at the top, ready to roll.

I told the supervisors to keep an extra eye on anyone with family in the area, not to let happening. I told them to let everyone take breaks when they needed to get updated on what was happening, but to make sure they didn’t forsake their jobs. I didn’t need to worry since our biggest problem was getting folks to take breaks; no one wanted to stop working. Those men and women, some no more than pimple faced kids, had to be ordered to eat or rest. These people were (ARE) DEDICATED. I was so proud of each and every one of them, and humbled to have been leading them.

We got our jets ready and were standing at the ready, wondering what our tasking would be. Since I was the Lead Pro Super, I had to attend the pilots briefing to let them know what the status of our fleet was. As I sat there, listening to the latest intel I couldn’t help but feel for the first time in my life, that I was glad I wasn’t a fighter pilot. I looked at their faces as they were briefed on the possibility and rules of engagement of engaging and firing on an unarmed airliner. I couldn’t read their expressions, but know they had to be conflicted inside. I know they would have performed their duty had they been tasked, but was praying they wouldn’t have to. Thank God they didn’t.

The rest of the day was a mixture of meetings, giving and taking orders, and praying. Praying for the victims, praying for our leaders, praying for those who would be asked to go into harms way. Yes, it was only a few hours since the towers fell, but I know we would be sending folks into harms way.

Later that night, after working a 17 hour day, I was able to call my wife. She was on her Air National Guard weekend and 500 miles from home. She told me they had been on a C-130 getting ready to fly a training mission, when they suddenly shut down the engines and told to get off the plane and return to their squadron. After they were briefed, they went into action putting together emergency response kits (her unit is and Aeromedical Evacuation Squadron) and verifying everyone’s qualifications in case they were called to help. She too had a very long day and told me the folks in her squadron were just as dedicated and focused as mine were. I had no doubt about that; the people who serve, whether active duty or Guard or Reserve, are a patriotic, dedicated, honorable population. I’m humbled to be in their company.

While talking with my wife that night, we finally allowed ourselves to grieve. We cried on each others shoulder, even though it was over a phone line. We prayed together. We cried together. We comforted each other.

Since that day, we keep the victims, their families, and those in harms way in our daily prayers. We refuse to forget; please don’t forget either.

Rememberance

Hey all,
I know I don't have to remind any of you to stop at some point today and remember/reflect on this day only five short years ago. We can't allow ourselves to forget those who were taken so violently that day.

I'm looking for a piece I wrote about my experience that horrible day, but haven't found it yet. It's probably on the computer that's still in storage. Anyway, please leave your thoughts/recollections from that day, and I'll post mine as soon as I find it.

Be good everyone

Progress and Illness

This picture was inspired by the one and only Barngoddess. I drive past these two almost everyday and just love how they stay together and look so much alike. I hope to have my own soon... :)


Hey everyone, just a quick note about the trials and tribulations here in the land O Rude.

We are making progress on the house, the garage walls are formed and concrete (the first layer) is going in today, but still not very happy with this clown.

I've spent the last three days (nights actually)taking care of a sick dog... Poor guy has been having "accidents" on the floor cause he just cant hold it. I hope this isnt too graphic, but "explosive" is the only way to describe it. The vet thinks its a change in diet, but I dont think so. Wish me luck with the poor guy.



Here's a couple of fawns running down the fairway at the local golf course.

Why I love It Here

These folks were heading to the local laundromat believe it or not...

This guy ran across the road in front of me the other night while I was driving up to our building site. This is why I carry a camera with me all the time now!

This place really makes me happy! Ya'll come visit sometime!!

I aint daid yet!

Hello all!
I am not speaking from beyond the grave, although sometimes it seems that way. Things have been a nightmare lately and I have ignored one of the few things I really didnt want too; my blog. So, here is my attempt to fix that little oversight!

First, I have to thank the lovely Barngoddess for stopping in and reminding me to write; her comment on my last post made me open my eyes and remember the really neat friends I've made here on the web. I still don't know why anyone would read my drivel, but Im glad some do. I really miss interacting with you all and will REALLY try and do better.

Okay, so here's a bit of the hell I call life right now. Remember the new house we're building? The one we wanted to start in May so we could move in before winter? The one that we have been planning and trying to cover all the hidden pitfalls over the last YEAR? The one that is supposed to fit inside the hole in the picture from two posts ago? Remember that house? youdo? Good. Here's an update... We just got the concrete footers in YESTERDAY. We have been waiting for the concrete for SEVEN F'ING WEEKS! Sure, we've had some rain, but not enough to delay more than 3-4 days TOPS. No, what we have is a concrete guy who keeps putting our work off cause he has bigger, more lucrative jobs keep popping up. I told my wife day before yesterday that if he wasnt there yesterday, I was going to have him come pull his forms out and bring in someone else. He must be telepathic, cause there he was, pouring the beginning of our concrete. Now, he has to pour the walls yet, which I told him better bee done by mid week next week, or I was getting someone else to finish it.

Here's the funny part (to me anyway); see, this is a small house. We're going to live in it for 2-3 years and then build our final home. It is going to be VERY BIG! about 3 times the concrete work as this one. Now, this small one has almost $30,000 just in concrete, not a bad chunk of change for the concrete guy. The bigger house will have about 90frickinthousanddamndollars in concrete work. Okay, here's the funny part I was telling you about. Guess who doesn't have a chance in HELL of getting that job? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Take that you sorry SOB. Oh yeah, I think I might just wait about 7 weeks to write acheck for this one! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Im sorry, I hope my language and evil laughter doesn't offend anyone...wait, actually, if it does, well, tough! LOL

Anyway, so here we are, living in a 30' RV (two adults and two big dogs) and I have to say, it's getting on our nerves. Not to mention the fact that we wanted to start this house in May so we wouldn't have to live in the RV in the winter... Now, we're 2-3 weeks away from first frost and all we have done is the damn garage floor. Somehow, I think we'll be in the RV when snow comes... ((SIGH))

So, if anyone needs any concrete work done in the San Luis Valley in Southern Colorado, talk to me first and I'll tell you who NOT to hire.

I feel much better now, so Im gonna go drive up to the property and sit in the middle of my new concrete floor. Till next time kiddos!

Is Ethanol the Answer?

My brain sometimes drives me nuts; I have thoughts that bounce around just about every subject. Things like ethanol fuel; I was just watching TV and saw an ad for Ford (yuck) and they were bragging about building 250,000 vehicles that run on ethanol fuel that's "...grown in the heartland." They show a farmer loading bushels of corn into his truck and everyone thinks "wow, that's so great; ethanol is the answer to our oil woes." Everyone except me I guess.

You see, I have a knack for seeing things from different angles; I don't do it consciously, I'm just able to see things differently than most. This served me very well in the later years of my military career. In the early years it tended to get me in trouble with my superiors since it seemed I was "questioning" them. Anyway, eventually I learned how to tactfully bring my thoughts to the table and they started listening to me. Anyway, I digress, so back to the "ethanol as the answer" dilemma.

Yes, ethanol is an alternative fuel that can help EASE our oil burden, but it cannot replace oil without a huge negative impact on the global food chain. Follow me here; the amount of corn needed to produce enough ethanol to supply even a fraction of the population, would tie up most of our crop-land. I did some digging and found out that it would take 11 acres of crop-land to fuel one car for one year. That same 11 acres can produce enough food for seven people for one year. Another interesting tidbit is production costs; it currently costs approximately $1.75 to produce one gallon of ethanol compared to $.95 per gallon of gasoline. Oh, and it takes 70% more energy to produce a gallon of ethanol than that same gallon holds (131,000 BTUs to produce one gallon that will put out 77,000 BTUs). Pretty staggering huh?

There’s another problem; land is a finite commodity, and agricultural land is even harder to come by. The available land for agricultural use is getting smaller every day; farms and ranches are being sold to real estate developers at an alarming rate. Let’s face it, the planet is getting smaller, and if we use it to produce a product that we don’t need to survive, to me is a bad idea. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for reducing our dependence on foreign oil and alternative fuel research, but I don’t think taking food off the table to put gas in the tank is a smart move. This is especially true when we have vast un-tapped oil fields available.

I can hear some of the arguments already; how big oil is gouging since it only costs $.95 a gallon to make, and we can’t drill for new oil because it will ruin the environment. Keep in mind that the $.95 is only the production (refinement) cost per gallon of gas and doesn’t include costs like overhead, research, taxes, profit, etc. Yes I said profit, but keep in mind, the oil companies only operate with a 7 – 9% profit margin, which is actually pretty low. As for drilling issues, the U.S. does more than any other nation to ensure the environmental impacts are kept to a minimum. Think about this; the U.S. is not allowed to drill new oil wells in the Gulf of Mexico because of our environmental laws, yet now Cuba is going to be drilling within 20 miles of our shores. Don’t you think the U.S., with our technology and the EPA, would be more apt (and capable) to protect the environment while drilling than some third world country?

Well, I’ve gotten off on a tangent again, so I’ll quit my rant. The bottom line is that ethanol is not the answer. It’s a start, but we need to take a hard look at the ramifications before jumping on the band wagon. Just something to think about.

The Hole...

Well, our hole has gotten bigger, but due to the rain we desperately need, the concrete has been delayed. At least it's getting closer, but I sure hope we're able to move in before winter... --sigh--

Anyway, here's a picture of our hole (the dog is NOT taking a dump; he was afraid to come down the slope!) taken a week or so ago.


The other pic is the view we will have from the house. You can see the creek and the nice green spot is a natural spring where deer, elk, and antelope like to hang out at night. Not to bad huh? :)

Okay, more to come; stay tuned kiddies!

I'm so ashamed... :)

I haven't posted in so long and I feel terrible about it. So, I'll try and put down a few of the more important things bouncing around in my cranium...

First, let me tell you I'm totally impressed with the Dodge warranty service. When the Rude Ram went down a couple weeks ago, she was towed to the dealership, repaired and returned in less than 48 hours. Out here in the sticks, that's pretty good! And it only cost me the $100 deductible. Needless to say, I was very happy.

I have some pics I need to post; the other day I was up at the building sight and the neighbor from down the road was moving his cattle up to pasture. I sat there and watched as the cowboys and girls drove the heard right up the road and past our place. I thought how cool it was to sit and watch the poetry as these wranglers moved a herd in the same way it's been done for centuries. I love being back here!

We have a HOLE! LOL, the excavation has begun on the new house and we should be having the concrete poured very soon. It's hard to believe that our house is actually being built! Well, almost, but we have a well, a road, a hole, and next week we'll have a septic system! Yee-haw! Now as long as we can be done and moved in by winter I will be One. Happy. SOB!

In other news, my new business is starting to take off. We've had a lot of winter-kill out here with both the alfalfa crops and the turf grasses. Hopefully, we can get them re-established and have some happy customers.

I also wanted to do a mini-blogrole post to throw some kudos out to my peeps LOL. So, remember, this is just the first of many of these to get out my impressions of my favorite bloggers. Those on my side bar will eventually all be named, but this is just a starter...

Desult is responsible for me blogging at all. We started a friendship over email and she encouraged me to post some of my writing. I still don't know what she was thinging! LOL. Anyway, I admire the hell out of her for many reasons, one of which was her willing to change her lifestyle by joining the military. She is a driven and accomplished young lady who will go very very far. She just needs to trust in herself a bit more. Oh, and she's frickin HOT too :)

Speaking of Hotties, Cowgirl is smokin! LOL, for a couple of reasons; obviously she is a beautiful woman, but just read her posts and you know how beautiful her heart is. Her ability to express her love and connection with her horses, and her honest open personal insight make her such a joy to read. She has the ability to draw others to her and isn't afraid of judgement. I'm proud she's a friend and everytime I hear the song "that girl is a cowboy" I think of her. Oh, and if you ever have the pleasure of hearing her sing, you'll be AMAZED!

Shayna is another with an amazing voice. Her stories of Eugene got me hooked; she has such a big, sweet and loving heart that shows through in her writing. She's funny and fearless; one you always want on your side.

Militarygrrl's writings about her military experience are a must read for anyone on either side of the debate about women in the military. The things she went through, and the way she handled them are proof positive that women can not only do the job, but often out perform the "guys". I'd serve with her anyday.

Barngoddess; what can I say about her? Just read her stuff; she blows me away. Everytime I stop by her place it reminds me how much I miss having horses around. Even though it's been over 20 years since I had one. Thanks to her and Cowgirl, that will change soon after the house is built!

I just noticed something; almost all of my blog buddies are beautiful women... Go figure!

That's all I have time for right now, I'll get to more of them soon. I promise! Till then, thanks for being there for me to read, I miss stopping by like I used to. Have a great day all! Cheers

The New Place

This is a pic of our place taken last year. It's much "greener" right now! The house will be down by where the trailer is, the corral will be just past it, up and to the right a wee bit. I hope you like!!

What a Day...

Okay, I finally get my wireless set up here at the RV and decided to put up a post. What to write about? I know, how about how my day went so far…

So I was on my way out to our property to meet with the builder and designer, cruising along down our dusty bumpy road when my truck. Just. Dies. I mean, no warning, no nothing, just all of the sudden, the tach rolls back to 0 and I coast to the side and stop. Luckily my builder drove by a few minutes later and gave me a lift to the site to stake out the house and go over the final plans (which are way cool!). Then he tells me how much the building permit will cost. Well, actually, the brand new “impact fee” which was put into affect 1 June. So, now the permit plus “impact fee” will be DOUBLE what it was last month. Yep, last month, if our original plans had been done, we would have started construction and not had to pay the “impact fee”. Oh, and the “impact fee” is supposed to be used to help maintain the roads, just like the inflated taxes do. Oh yeah, the road we will live on, is CRAP! Washboards you can get lost in. Am I bitter? Just a little.

So, my truck is dead (I’ll let you know how Dodge warranty service works out). I know I know Cowgirl will let me know how Dodge suck blah blah blah… (you know I’m only pulling your leg CG; and what a leg it is; but I digress…)

So, then I go to check on registering all my vehicles and of course that’s gonna cost me about $5K, so the hits just keep coming!

On a lighter note, my dogs are making me laugh more and more everyday. I take them out to our property and they get out of the truck and immediately relieve themselves; but if I take them on their morning or afternoon walk, it takes at least a half hour to find the perfect spot worthy of their poo. I just don’t get it.

Well, the only thing else I wanted to say was to have you all go read the letter Matt at Blackfive posted by Col Brett Wyrick (I’ve served with the Col’s brother and have seen other letters, so I’m sure this letter is authentic) about Marines. Go. Read. Now.

Till nest time, Cheers!

Holy Crackers, A Real Post!

Greetings all from the high mountains! As is my modus operandi lately, this will be a short, but hopefully sweet post. I won't go into the high-tech cowboy area just yet (sorry cowgirl ;) ) but thought I might regale you all with a few tidbits of why I'm so happy to be back here.

I'd forgotten just how beautiful this area of the world is, and how on some small scale, time has slowed down to a crawl. For the most part, the area hasn't changed since I left some 25 years ago. It's still full of ranches and farms complete with ranchers and farmers; all of whom are still going broke every year (just ask anyone of them!). Seriously, I know how hard it is to make a living ranching and/or farming, but for the most part, these guys are the same ones who were working their land when I left. They may not be getting rich, but most are still paying their bills and providing a good life for their families.

I feel at times as if it's 1980 except all those guys and gals I ran around with are much older than they should be! I mean, they have like grown kids and stuff, some even with grand kids! What happened to them while I was gone? Then I look in the mirror, and remember that I too have aged quite a bit since then, but I'm happy to say that while I may look a bit older and rougher, my mind still says I'm in my 20's.

I had forgotten the simple pleasure of driving down an open road where you can see forever and watching a late evening lightening storm dance across the mountain tops under a turquoise sky with flaming clouds against the Western horizon. My words fail to paint the beautiful picture God provides on a nightly basis. I wish you all could see them. I should carry my camera with me I guess!

I am still getting used to the fact that people don't lock their trucks and give a friendly wave to every passing car on the road. I know; it sounds a bit Mayberry, but life is so relaxed here, I can't explain it.

The sheer joy I feel everyday here more than makes up for the shock I get when I see my paycheck (is that right? That's what I used to have withheld, not take home!!!) Oh well, the price of living in this wonderful place is a much smaller income, but then the cost of living is much less too, so I'm not complaining one bit. In fact, I'm thanking the Lord for allowing me to live here once again.

I hope all of you are happy and healthy. I miss you all and wish you could all come out for a visit (maybe AFTER the house is built since the RV is a bit crowded with my wife and I and our two dopey dogs) :

Till next time…

Yawn; just another lame update of sorts

Yes, it is alive; sadly failing in keeping the handful of friends who read my drivel updated, but alive at least.

I'm currently in an Inn outside of Niagra Falls (we flew out here for the wedding of a friend) and now that the festivities have slowed down, I've been able to get a slooooow dial up connection.

Things have been busy as you might imagine; in fact, the last few weeks have been a blur of packing boxes, endless highways, and precious little sleep. In fact, I've driven the road between Salt Lake City and our little Colorado mountain town no less than 5 times in the past four weeks (500+ miles one way). This trip for the wedding was a welcome diversion, but I have so much to do back in CO that I'm having a hard time enjoying it.

The wedding was very nice; and seeing the bridal party in mess dress and then the bride and groom exiting under a saber arch on Armed Forces day reminded me of how out of place I feel these days. My uniform is packed away for good, my mustache and hair way beyond the allowable limits, and my gut a little bigger than it should be; yet in my heart, I want to wear the uniform and be a part of the team once again. I know it isn't possible, but damn I miss it.

Oh, and the house plans I paid a goodly sum for to build our new house? Yeah, they can't be used, so I have a new designer working on the new ones which of course will cost another chunk of change. Here's a safety tip for any of you kiddies building a new house... Hire a professional and get a signed contract! Stay away from "friends" even if they're fully qualified to do the job. Yeah, I should have known better. So, bottom line is our construction of the new homestead is about 6 weeks behind and it's not even started yet.

Oh well, live and learn. I hope all of you have a wee bit better luck than Im having. Oh, and to the newlywed J and K; Long and happy life together, and thanks for allowing us to be a part of it!

I have some really good stuff to write about as soon as I get time. I think the first will be on Hi-Tech Cowboys... Ponder that :)

Quick Update

Hey everyone, I just popped in to let you know that things are good so far. The move is going good, though slow. We haven't started on the house yet since my builder and I keep missing each other. Grrrr.

I've forgotten how much I love this area and am so excited to be back. It always has felt like home (cause it is I guess!)

I don't know when Ill have internet access, thank God there is one business here in the 21st century and opened a hispeed internet cafe. I get down here about once a week since they're only open a few hours a day. At least it's something.

Thanks to you all for your kind words and encouragement; it means a lot. I miss all of you and hope to be around to everyones blogs soon.

MN Girl, I haven't forgotten about the tag, I'll do it as soon as possible!

Cheers all, blessings to each of you!

Rude1 out

Still alive, but going nuts

Hey all, Just a quick note to let you know Im still kickin! One final left, 1/2 the house left to laid in the truck, then drive for 10+ hours only to have to unload it in a storage unit since the new house isn't under construction yet!

Yep, me, the princess bride, and our two goofy dogs get to live in our RV while the house is being built... Am I nuts or what?

Talk to you all soon; I am popping in as I get the chance. Blessings to all of you, see you soon!

MIA or AWOL, I can't decide

Hey folks, I know it's been a while and although I'm sort of a hit and run, or hit or miss poster, I thought I'd give a quick update to the 3 or 4 folks who happen to stumble over here.

Things are greatly in flux out here in the land-O-Rude. I've quit my high paying, low challenging job, sold my house, and am trying to finish my last semester of school (the day after my last final I pack up the truck and move). Needless to say, I'ma bit stressed and swamped, so I haven't been posting or visiting my bloggy friends. Soooo....

I just wanted to let you all know that I will be under the radar for a few weeks (not sure what sort of access I'll have) But I'll pop 'round as soon as I get a chance.

Happy BIrthday to my favorite Cowgirl, somebody keep an eye on her and keep her out of trouble!!

Our Duty to Remember

Shayna recently wrote about Eugene and it got her thinking about how sad it is that we, as a nation, tend to forget or overlook those who gave so much. She wished that they would talk more about their experiences in the hopes that the rest of society would be reminded of what they went through and not to forget them.

I wanted to try in some weak attempt, to explain why that probably won’t ever happen. I agree with her; we should be reminded not to forget those who sacrificed so much and gained so little, but the sad fact is that the majority of combat vets won’t talk about it. At least not to just anyone. They’ll talk at length with other combat vets, or tell some of the funny stories to their families; but most won’t open up about the serious times.

My theory about why is rather simple, yet strangely complicated. I know that most vets are very proud of what they did, of their contribution to history, of being part of something important, something historical. But the difficulty lies in that to be proud of that, in some way the vet must be proud of killing; an act that is taught to us from the earliest stages of our life, to be the ultimate sin. Killing another human being is one of the most reprehensible thing anyone can do. Yet the bottom-line job of the military member is to kill.

We desensitize ourselves by making light of it, or even advertising it. “Our job is to kill people and break things.” “Kill ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out.” “Killing is our business, and business is good.” None of us really feel that way, but we try and convince ourselves that it’s okay. The training and preparation kicks in during battle and instinct and training take over. There is no time to reflect, but deep down, late at night, especially after the battle, and the fog of war starts to dissipate, we look at ourselves in horror. We don’t want anyone to know the horrible sin we’ve committed; the taking of another human life. Forever silencing the voice of someone’s father/brother/son/mother/sister/daughter/friend. You can’t take that back. But it’s what we do. We have to, or else evil will prevail.

So the combat vet stays mute about it except to another combat vet. Someone who’s been there too; someone who understands. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you want to understand, to sympathize, to help; you can’t. You cannot fathom the guilt/pride conflict raging within. The combat vet doesn’t want to remember the killing, but it is something that can’t ever be forgotten. Even those “lucky” enough to have never actually killed; the sights, sounds, smells, and touch of combat casualties is every bit as traumatic. As a military member, your job is to inflict pain amongst the enemy, but as you see the aftermath, you question how can civilized, sane people do such things to one another. So you shut it down, you don’t talk about it, you hide it away because if you don’t, you run the risk of seeing the looks of revulsion from those you love. You so desperately want to forget, but you can’t.

There are countless stories out there of combat heroes, whose families have no idea of their bravery. Navy and Air Force Cross recipients, Silver Star recipients who put their medals in a dusty box in some basement or attic. People who did extraordinary things while under fire, but hide them away like forgotten trinkets. I remember reading how John Levitow’s wife, also an Air Force member, didn’t know he had been awarded the Medal of Honor until she studied it during a required Air Force history class. She knew he had served in Viet Nam before they met, but had no idea he was the lowest ranking AF member to be awarded the Nation’s highest military honor. Or of Susan Rescorla finding her husband Rick’s military medals only to have him refuse to let her display them. Rick Rescorla not only was a hero of the Ia Drang Valley in Viet Nam, but he was chief of security for Morgan Stanley and lost his life in the WTC on 9/11, but not before ensuring over 3000 of his charges were evacuated safely.

This is the reason why military members are the last people who want to go to war. We make the sacrifices. We run the risk of being killed or wounded. We run the risk of losing our closest friends. We run the risk of having to kill or maim another human. But we do it when needed. Some may think we rush into wars, but believe me, the vast overall majority of military leaders will only advise military action if all other avenues have failed.

It is not the job f the combat vet to remind society of what they did, it is the responsibility of society to remember the sacrifices of the combat vets and to honor them. The combat vet doesn’t want sympathy. All he wants is acceptance and possibly a thank you. It’s societies job to HONOR them, and to never forget. Don’t pity these heroes, for most of them would do it again even knowing the consequences. Don’t pry or try and understand their silence, respect it. Don’t patronize them, but be their friend. Most of all, don’t forget them; they did what they did for you.

Tagged

So the lovely Trouble gave me my first tag; I don’t know whether to be happy or embarrassed LOL. Any way, Six Weird Habits might take a while (not because I have to think of them, but rather I have to narrow it down to six!). Anyway, here goes…

1) I still carry my squadron Ram coin everywhere I go; just in case.

2) I count paces when I walk, not all the time, but whenever I’m by myself. 4,596 paces from my quarters to work the last time I was stationed in Korea…

3) I stroke my mustache; been doing it for 24 years (I shaved it off in basic, last time I think!)

4) I collect die cast airplanes and corvettes. I have an entire bookcase at work with nothing but these toys. Oh, and an Aviator Barbie and G.W. Bush Top Gun are also there (long story, thanks Capt. G and Lt. K)

5) I have a photographic memory; most of my family and friends refuse to play Trivial Pursuit or similar games with me.

6) I can quote most of the movie “Better Off Dead”

There you go, six of the not-so-weird things about me; I know some of them are not habits per se, but... I’ll keep the really weird stuff to myself thank you!

So, Cowgirl, Desult, and Barn Goddess; You’re officially tagged, so tell me some weird things about you… 

Let Us Never Forget

Paul Ray Smith. A name that few really know, but one that all of us should remember. It's been a little over three years since he was killed protecting his men in Baghdad. His actions that day earned him the Medal of Honor. Go read the citation if you haven't already. SFC Paul Ray Smith was the epitome of leadership under fire. He was a strict NCO knowing that his troops needed to be highly trained to survive in combat.

SFC Smith embodies the honor and selflessness of our warriors serving today. The majority of those serving today would have done the same thing he did were they in his boots. All of those who have served, and those still serving, deserve our respect, thanks, and most importantly, our rememberance.

God Bless and protect them all.

Thanks to Sgt Hook for his post "Would You Know My Name" who made me remember.

Ben Stein

I've tried several times to write a post about Ben Stein and what he means to me, but I can never get it right. I'm one of those folks who think that most of the Hollywood crowd is a joke, but I respect and enjoy what they do. (when they stay within their area of expertise as I wrote about here) Anyway, Ben is different. He understands what meaning is. I just want to thank him. I want to thank him for making me laugh in "Ferris Beuller's Day Off", and on his show "Win Ben Stein's Money". I want to thank him for his support of the US military. I want to thank him for his service to our country during the Nixon years. Ben, if you're listening, Thank You. You're support, and the support of all who believe, helps keep us going. We can't do it alone.

Ben's article made me think about my life since I've retired from the military. I've often told my wife since that day that I miss being a part of something important, of making a difference in the world. Ben reminded me that I miss my life having meaning. I know there are a lot ways to get that meaning back. I just need to do it. It was easy to have meaning while in uniform; everyday held the pursuit of the greater good. Now, I struggle to find the niche where I can once again contribute. I support the Soldiers/Sailors/Airmen/Marines/Coast Guard; I send packages and volunteer to help deployed spouses keep up with home/landscape duties. I try and pass a little wisdom to the young troops whenever I can. I try and help educate those with no military knowledge. In short, I'm trying to honor those who still serve, and those who've served before us, but honestly, sometimes I need a reminder to do more. It's easy to get caught up in the daily BS of life and lose track of what's really important.

Thanks again Ben, for reminding me to keep on helping where I can.

She's Back!

For those that ever had the pleasure of reading Right Thinking Girl, you know what a wonderful and talented writer she is. Personally, when she quit blogging, it left a void, a blackhole in my day. I wrote a little about why I liked her writing so much here. I have a pretty good idea why she quit for a while, and like so many others, prayed that things would get better for her. I'm glad she's been able to move forward, but I'll still keep her in my prayers.

I was able to catch a few of her guest articles over at RWN, but it never seemed to be enough to sate my appetite. There's just something about her writing that speaks to me; I can't really explain it. I'm just glad she's back. I always thought she would be back; she's a WRITER, it's as much a part of her as breathing. I'm a reader and I'm glad I'll be able to lose myself in her words yet again.

Welcome home RTG.